i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
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Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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