Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
