Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So vagazzling was a success
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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