so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
