you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
