My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
