I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
