Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
