She's like a pop up book from hell.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
