What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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