You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think your dad took our porno
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
