He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
