no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my being single is dangerous.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
