Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
soo... how was my night?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
