Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
