hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
