I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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