Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
