Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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