the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
