i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
