NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
