the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize