drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
