They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
