After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
