trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
