my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
