something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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