Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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