Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
