Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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