how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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