the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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