I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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