oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
