I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
