You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
