i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just gift wrapped bread.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
