Pappa wants mamma naked
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
