I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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