So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
