i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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