The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
