Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
