you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
