worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
