All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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