Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
