the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is Oprah even human
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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