I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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