she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
