You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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