i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.