he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize