dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.