We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.