Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.