Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.