Don't make out with my wife yet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
