she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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