So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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