Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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