Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
